Can't wait for my Spa Treatment!

Every couple of years I go to this BIG, tall building and have a baby.

I stay for a couple of nights all by myself without children all around me.

There are nurses all around me, even in the middle of the night (the nerve of those nurses-the nerve), but I try to ignore that part.

This is my luxurious vacation retreat and spa treatment:

A nice big bed with cool buttons that I can adjust to my liking, people bringing me food at my beckon call, people asking how I feel - "Can I get you anything? Do you need another cup of pudding or green jello". Others empty my garbage or change my bed sheets. I have the tv remote to myself, I don't even have to get dressed.  The room where I stay is usually rather quiet-which is so peaceful.
In most cases everyone coming into the room, knocks before they enter. That is kind, I appreciate that.
Sometimes people come in and have me do a survey about hospital food, or they discuss baby car seats with me, others  give me free formula with a FREE new diaper bag to take home.
Others come to take a photo of my new baby who always scream for the photo, then the nice lady shows me pretty backgrounds to choose from for the photo.  There is always paper work to fill out, but it's thoughtful they bring it to me with a pen. (At home I can never find a pen that works, or the paper I was suppose to fill out).

If I'm in the mood I can hold a cute, new little baby.
Or if I'm not in the mood - press a button and have a nurse come and take the baby to the nursery.
(Some days I wish I had this button at home for children of all ages.)
If the nurse questions me I calmly reply, "The baby has eaten for 10 min. on each side."
This phrase works like a charm.

Sure, there are lots and lots of negatives to this kind of spa treatment,
but I choose to enjoy the time instead.
Getting back home too soon is CRAZEEEEE for me.
At home, everyone wants me to serve them, feed them, clothe them, wipe them, clean them, launder them, visit teach them, call them, text them, email them, listen to them, homework them, etc.

I prefer the nurses coming in my room at 2 am, flicking on lights, and poking me,
to going back to the nut house.

If I can strategize it just right and have the baby at 12:01 am I can stay 2 full nights - plus the night I had the baby.

Can't wait for my Day Spa Time!



You think JUST like me! I'm sad that my 'spa' days are over. So many people say that they HATE their hospital stay.....I just don't get it. With each child, our NUT house has become unbearably NUTTY! Ha. I've always thought that I would enjoy working in the hospital nursery--or as a labor delivery nurse. But that would require schooling that sadly, I am not willing to endure. I keep forgetting your due date.....any thoughts as to when you expect to deliver? If I visit...I'll surely knock first!

Katie said...

I mean my kiddos at home with the knocking in our house. I'm in my room dressing, I'm trying to escape the noise in my room, I'm trying to wrap a Christmas present, I'm using the bathroom, etc. They just barge right in!

The baby is due sometime in January.
1-11-11 seems like a good day! I usually deliver when labor starts and not a scheduled c-section or induction.We will see if we can have a baby on that day!

Ingrid said...

You put that all so poetically! I'll meet you in the massage chair or the pedicure station...

MollyE said...

Oh dear, you seriously need a real spa treatment to get your head on straight. Geez u are losing it!

Kristen said...

This is hilarious because I told Emily (my sis) this same thing when I was about to have Leah. Her response..."why don't you just pay for a spa retreat at a real spa?? It would probably be a lot less expensive and you wouldn't have to endure 9 uncomfortable months beforehand." Hey, I will take what I can get!!!

Sara @ Our Best Bites said...

Love this post. Love!

Cathy said...

Amen sister! Be sure to tell the nurse you want an ambien at bedtime. I learned this trick with #5. Apparently the prescription is already on file... you just have to ask for it! Your first (and last) good nights rest in months (or years).